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Monday, September 29
♥;
having ss and physics exam later on. wonder why im still up huh. mugging of cos ! burning midnight oil till cant burn anymore. hope i wont be sleepy during papers later. god. why on earth cant parents be abit understanding ? i swear im not going bck hm anymore. i'll just stay here at grndma's hse till they come and beg me hm. beginning to be like my big brother huh. oh wad do i care anyway.
mum, dad. u knw i'll be having exams tmr. why did u put so much stress on me. asking me to teach sis, bring the laundry in, wash this wash dat at the wrong time. fine, im useless cos i smtimes didnt complete my hsehold chores on time. but i finish them up eventually wad. why cant u just gv me time to study ?? i havent even start mugging on my ss when i ran out of the hse at 10plus justnw. i was merely reading reina's msg on wad topics to study when u confiscated my phone. i told u a billion times dat my ss tb is lost and its kinda difficult for me to refer and stuffs, didnt i ? u said i sms guys ? fuck lah cb. so wad if i do ? they're my frens, who's always there for me. unlike YOU TWO who only prioritise your careers, money money and money. how bout your kids ?? no wonder brother often sleep places other than our hm since last year up till now. i understand brother now. and i swear, PARENTS, dat brother, me and our sis is gonna abandon u guys and ur beautiful hse.
raya is coming. aint gonna apologise a single shit. cos i knw i did no wrong. i was trying my very best to concentrate on my exams, parents. you two alws say study is our priority. but wth ? each time i tried saying out my opinion, you guys say im the most rude daughter among my siblings. hey noobs, when can i have a say ?? even if i answered you guys bck, it was not like as if i shouted or smth. unlike mum, who alws shout here and there even if asking for help, like as though im her chamber maid. unfair, aint it ?
mum, dad. you guys often say im useless. being useless is as gd as not being at hm rite ? so nw, i'll just leave hm and try being independent, ok ? dun try to contact kekmy asking bout me ever again. i hate you, parents :'(

2:50:00 AM


Friday, September 19
♥;
days past. things fade. new things come arise. fake smiles and laughters. maybe its obvious cos ppl kept on asking. anger management getting haywire. this is hw my life is. once there, now is gone. wad happen ? idk.
my everyday in sch seems meaningless now. everythng getting all drab and dull. nth is exulting at all. its gd dat exams drawing near, or i swear i'll be skipping schs now and then. imma just let days past randomly, so time becomes quicker dat way. maybe i just took it too seriously. i shouldnt have, i admit.
but i couldnt face u anymore. each time i thought bout u guys, i feel as if im a spoil brat. the extra one. get the facts rite adira, ure nth. this feeling,, has been disturbing me since the sep holiday. dk why i get too carried away. should i just avoid like i used to ? its the only way even though things stay the same.
weird aint it. crackers, donuts, bball, movie, obs, thats it. each night, i thot about it before getting to sleep. panda eyes is the result. i tried avoiding looking at u like i used to. i tried stopping turning back in class. i tried ignoring ur smses, hoping i'd forget everythng. it hurts :'(
im sorry dat i hv nth much to say to u when u talk to me earlier. i just dk how to express my feelings in words ..
ps; ty jielin for the console and the hug. sorry cant stop my tears yeah .. will thank u again soon but dk when.

9:46:00 PM


Saturday, September 13
♥;
first of all. just wanna say dat i really enjoyed obs. it was goddamn exhilarating. too much to be summarised in words.
ok. hasnt been updating lately. very busy with hmwks and revisions. exams are just arnd the corner yeah. and oh. will be having my very first a maths tuition later at 3pm. yay ^^

now im off to watch 1 litre of tears. its a real-life story of a girl with an incurable disease and dies eventually cos of it. very sad i can say. i cried. lol. credits to rain for recommending it to me (:

actress aya and actor haruto.


11:07:00 AM




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